"Yuki.Yuki?" I was woken up by Aido's voice.
"Um, yes...?" I startled to reply. Somehow, I wasn't myself.
Aido gave out a heavy sigh. "I just don't know how Lord Kaname can put up with you." he mumbled. Even though he tried to whispered it. "You haven't been paying attention to a word I've said, haven't you?"
"Um, no not really." I admitted it in a depressing tone without looking at him.
Aido glared at me. Then the next thing I knew, he slammed down hard onto my desk with his hands. "Look, I don't know why you are acting like this, Lady Yuki. But if Lord Kaname finds out about it then...who knows what kind of punishment he will have for us!"
"Humph. You should be the one to talk. I'm surprised that Kaname hasn't forced you to tell."
"Please. Don't you think that I'm just covering it up so that you don't get caught. I just don't want to see Lord Kaname in anymore pain then he already is."
I narrowed my eyes. He's right. Lately, I haven't been fair to Kaname. Is it because of when I saw him? The pain that I keep on having, it won't go away.
Things hasn't been so smooth with us. I don't want Kaname to be hurt again. But I just can't get him out of my mind. The eyes that were staring at me, I couldn't look away. His hatred towards me has grown.
Does he still think about me? Even if it's the thought of turning me into ash? The feelings that he once had for me, I didn't understand them before, but now, since I feel of what he had for me a long time ago, is effecting me with Kaname?
I don't want to lose Kaname either. But, I just can't decide on what to do. It hurts so much just by thinking about it. And yet, I can't hide it from him.
"Yuki? Are you alright?" a soft gentle voice came through to me. I blinked seeing as though Kaname was home.
"Kaname," I said as I smiled. He also gave a smile. But in a worry way. My eyes widen. Then I looked away. I couldn't face him. Not like this.
"Why are you crying, Yuki?" he asked. I looked at him once more to see what he had meant by that.
"W-what do you mean?" suddenly, I felt his finger going across my face.
I felt my face starting to blush by his touch. I should be use to it by now, and yet, I still act like a child around him.
"Is there something you want to tell me, Yuki?"
I looked at him. "Well, its just that..." what could I say to him? I don't want to hurt him.
Suddenly, I was picked up into the air. I was cut off guard. Then my back was against the leather sofa.
I glanced down at him. He looked tried. I rapped both of my arms around him. He felt so warm and loving.
Then he lifted his head up, his dark, lonely eyes, meeting mines. Once again, I felt my face blushing.
"Yuki," he took his hand and brushed my bangs to the side. "You need it, don't you?"
I widen my eyes. "Kaname...No really I'm fine." I said with a nervous chuckle.
He gave a slight nod. "Its alright, Yuki. I know you want some."
We sat up straight together. I didn't want too, but, he knew I had to.
I opened my mouth, and I prepared myself. But then, I hesitated. I backed away. Looking away from him.
"What's wrong?" his voice, it changed.
I looked back up at him. My eyes they won't stop tearing up. He squinted his. I'm not being fair to him at all, its like I'm teasing him. And yet, I can't deny that, another me is still attach to him.
I came to him, as my hands clutched onto his shirt. Tears began to drop from my cheeks. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "You must be in pain right now of seeing me this way. But I just can't help it."
"Yuki," his soft, gentle, voice. It was reaching to me. I perked up my head. Then, I felt his arms wrapping around me. "You are the one who is in pain."
That caught my attention. Does he know? Has he known all this time? About my meeting with him? "Kaname..."
There was nothing more I can say to him. Not the way he is looking at me. "You haven't fully grown into being use of one of us. There is still some human inside of you."
I narrowed my eyes. That's only half of the truth. I wonder if he knew the rest. I didn't want keep on teasing him any longer then I already have too. But, I just have to bring myself to tell him, and yet, I can't. There's something else that is getting in the way of me telling him. The pain that I am giving him, I know he is only hiding it, but, I know he is suffering a lot from me.
I glanced at him. My eyes widen with surprise. He was having a gentle smile on his face. I don't know why. "Kaname, I'm sorry." I mumbled.
He shook his head. Then, he leaned against my forehead, gently. "Don't be, Yuki. I know you're not ready for having my blood." he said. I felt my eyes narrowing away from him. "I didn't mean to force you to have it. You know that. I am only worried about you living here alone while I'm away on these long trips."
Was that it? I gave out a light chuckle. "Don't worry. I'm not really alone. I still have Hanabusa." I reminded him.
"That is true. But still," his eyes grew softer. I reached my hand out towards his cheek. It felt cold. As if he was out in the snow more then he should be. "The times when I'm away from you, Yuki, it makes me feel more alone then I should be."
"Kaname." I muttered. There was no way I could tell him now. About how I met him. The way, he is looking at me, I never known Kaname this way. Its as though he is a different person. But still, I can't forget.
The memories of the past, I just can't simply forget about them. I still need to keep a promise to someone. That Kaname must never know about. Even if it means on hurting him a little bit longer.